I've been laying in bed with eleventy million thoughts buzzing around my brain as usual & I was compelled to write some of it down. Sometimes that helps, just to have it down on paper somehow means I can put a pin in it for now & get some sleep knowing if it's important it's there, written down, for me to sort out & make sense of it when I'm awake & hopefully less tired & frustrated.
The dilemma I had was, do I buy a paper diary, write in it with a pen, the good old fashioned way, OR, do I grab the laptop & write in my blog?
Then of course the questions come pouring into my head. Do people want to read about me, warts n' all? Do people come to this blog knowing they'll get a frank & sometimes blunt & bleak glimpse into what makes me, Donna, tick? Should I be writing down all the things that make me me, all the ups & downs (you should probably strap on a seatbelt if your answer is yes to that) OR do people come here just to see the fluffy, sugar coated Miss Red & what she's stitched recently & how her little business is progressing?
I really don't have the answers, & that's partly why I've not written here for a while. I've been ill, struggled with pain, with mood, there's been a lot going on, a lot to cope with, & not really much fluffy nice stuff in my life recently.
I wish you could respond as I write this, it's tricky being stuck here with just my own train of thought for input...
I question why I'd want to write the *real* things in a blog for all to see rather than keep them in a private diary hidden from the world. A surprisingly selfless reason pops up, I'm not thinking of baring all out of some weird ego trip or to get sympathy or solutions, part of me just thinks there may be a few people out there going through similar things who might actually benefit or take comfort from knowing they're not alone. I'm not saying my story is the same as theirs exactly, or that I have all the answers but I'm a real person, dealing as best I can with the issues I have & I'm not entirely sure it's helpful portraying myself as some mega clued up entrepreneur who never has any problems & is always bright & breezy. I've been open about my M.E & depression from the beginning of this blog last year & it'd be unrealistic to say that in that time I've not had some pretty dark times.
Of course, even if it is a good idea to put everything out there, this blog is attached to Miss Red, my business. Does it help then to keep things light & fluffy here & find some other forum for the more rounded & realistic view OR are people open to taking me as I am & accepting me as a whole person going through some tough situations but who also happens to be damn good at creating corsets, designing cross stitch patterns, making gorgeous embroidery & selling great value craft supplies?
What do you think? Please do indulge me with a response, whether it's a comment here or private message, I really do value the opinions of the people who actually read this blog.
Thanks in advance & *huge hugs*