...head squirrels that is.  You know them?  They're all distracting with their fluffy cuteness but if you get up close they can be quite scratchy & bitey & everything they leave behind is nuts!

I've had a right old problem with the head squirrels this last few weeks or so.  For me they come out a lot in the sunny weather, my body can't regulate my temperature so I'm feeling exhausted & in pain, which in time invites depression & anxiety to take hold, meanwhile positivity is off having a nap in a dark room somewhere.  Perfect squirrel conditions!

As most of you know my business is still just a new one, around 7 months in I'm still really building the foundation & finding you gorgeous ideal audience members...yeah, you there, I saw you drooling over that corset earlier, did you know you can have it in any size, shape or fabric you want? ;) 

I digress.

My point is, nobody expects me to have earned my first million within 7 months of business do they?  (Do they?!?)  So why, when the squirrels invade, do I think I'm useless at this whole self employed lark because all I've managed is not to go into overdraft? NUTS!!!  

In reality, my last wage was over a year ago & I've supported myself since then.  How many people could truthfully say that if their wages stopped tomorrow without warning they could survive a year without outside financial assistance?  My guess is not many!

Yes, it would be fantastic to be living comfortably & never to be thinking "jeez, I really need to get a proper job" but I'm hanging on in there & I have A PLAN & I'm not going to let the squirrels win!

I do have a teeny tiny favour to ask to help me out a little, & I suspect those of you who haven't stopped reading already are just the kind of lovely people who will help me out.

If you see something from Miss Red you like or know someone else would like, share it. 

You can tell just one other person about it, shout it from the rooftops, plaster it over the whole of the internet but pretty please with cherries on top, don't keep it to yourself. 

You could start my sharing my Facebook page, Twitter, the website, the newsletter or even just a particular product.  It'll probably take about 30 seconds, you could do it right now ;)

Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!

This time last year I'd just received my final wages from my last job.

I'd started as a temp at this government quango & after a year of glowing reports, pay rises & contract extensions I was *promoted* into a permanent role.  Much as I missed teaching I knew my health wasn't up to a full time teaching role so begrudgingly accepted, relieved that my financial situation would at least become stable.

Little did I know it would all be downhill from there, the new role being nothing like the temporary roles I'd done & essentially turning me into a phone monkey.  No offence meant to anyone who works in call centre/contact centre, in fact hats off to you!  As someone with severe anxiety issues & a phone phobia I'd never have accepted the post had I been aware of the change in role!  I approached my line manager who assured me despite being put through phone training I'd soon be back in my administrative post because it would be a busy period for my team & I knew more about the process than anyone on the team (including/especially her!)  Of course just a couple of months later it'd be my word against hers that she'd made these reassurances & she'd convince management that I'd known all along what I was agreeing to when I accepted the job.  (8 hours a day on the phone being told when I'm allowed to leave my desk & watching bimbling idiots around me stuffing up the job I *used* to do really well)

After 5 months off ill followed by being pushed too hard on a phased return & being ill again occupational health & other medical professionals were unanimous in the decision that redeployment was the way forward.  Shortly after this decision was formalised I was brought in for a *redeployment* meeting.  Allegedly there was no position to move me to, despite hiring 3 new staff members to carry out the job I'd managed without illness and with glowing reports for several months.  Since I'd already had my trial period extended by three months it was decided I was incapable of carrying out the role I was hired for (no shit Sherlock!) so therefore I no longer had a job.

Obviously it hadn't been my ideal job but it had been my lifeline for almost 2 years & to suddenly just stop having any income came as a shock as well as causing many sleepless nights & exacerbating my ME .  Having already been turned down for DLA (but in the process of appealing it) I had no idea how I'd pay the bills & no optimism where new employment was concerned with over 100 sick days under my belt.  Already in a very dark place it did nothing for my mental health either, it's very difficult trying to see a silver lining when even somewhere you don't want to work but slog your heart out for doesn't think it's worth giving you a break.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger apparently ;)